Bill 115.

Sep. 7th, 2012 04:33 am
moiread: (glasses • stock.)
Hey, guys? The Ontario government is trying to pass Bill 115, which will freeze teacher's wages and cut sick days.

That's bad. Teachers are overworked and underpaid as it is, and if you think that having teachers who are being continually shit on doesn't affect the quality of kids' education, then probably you need to think a little harder. My own job has been cut down to 1/9th the time it was three years ago, because taking away support from students and teachers alike is apparently the best way to save money. So yeah. That's bad.

What's worse is that they're also going to be retroactively taking away sick time and vacation time that has already been earned in previous years, under previous agreements. It breaks all the previous contracts under which teachers are still signed. It also gives the cabinet the power to force school board employees (which includes teachers) to pay back any money they receive that contravenes the Act, or demand that boards deduct it from employees' wages. All of that should be illegal.

But what's completely unacceptable and unconstitutional is that they're trying to circumvent union rights and labour laws by adding clauses to the bill that say it supersedes any existing human rights or labour law and cannot be subject to examination by any arbitrator or court of law. Yes, really. These clauses also give the cabinet the ability to completely block strikes or negotiation attempts. These clauses state that subsequent changes to legislation will be decided only by the cabinet, at will, without actually needing to take the changes to parliament for an official vote, let alone negotiate with the union or take input from elected trustees. And do you know what we call it when the people in power give themselves the ability to screw with laws without having to interact with elected representatives, boys and girls? We call that taxation without representation.

Many teachers have been protesting, and but the bill is being rammed through as quickly as possible -- it's likely to be passed by Monday or Tuesday of next week, in fact -- with only 4.5 hours given for public consultation. And frankly, unless a bunch of average folks step up to support the teachers in this, they are going to lose. There has been very little coverage of what's going on, for a start, and beyond that, labour laws are a confusing, messy headache. Sorting them out to determine how you should feel is pretty fucking daunting, so not a lot of people are doing it. And really, all it takes is one cry of, "BUT THINK OF THE CHILDREN!" and a bit of crafty rhetoric for our government to keep people from supporting teachers when they validly say that this is not okay and try to fight it.

To summarize: Under the guise of budget cuts and "Putting Students First" (the actual name of the bill), Bill 115 aims to slash benefits, take away previously earned benefits by breaking existing contracts, nix the ability for the teacher's union to call (or even threaten) a strike, and give the cabinet the power to circumvent unions and elected officials so that they can make decisions willy-nilly without the democratic process cramping their style.

The Canadian Civil Liberties Association thinks this is very, very bad and so should you.

I know a lot of you don't have kids yet, or don't want kids ever, or have kids who are currently too young to be in school. But this still matters. This is still not okay. It's not just about the kids, but also about the teachers themselves, who are largely a bunch of good, hardworking people who get the crap end of the stick enough as it is.

Please write to your MPP. Please? Even if none of you actually care that something this ugly is happening, can you just do it for me anyway?
moiread: (facepalm • lisa e.)
Dear Certain Cisgendered Men of My Acquaintance Who I Will Never Call Friend and Do Not Feel the Slightest Bit Guilty Venting About Outside of Their Earshot:

I am so tired of whiny geekboy self-pity. "WOMEN ARE MEEEAN AND CONFUUUUSING! I am totally discriminated against FOR BEING A GEEK! Except by the stupid humourless feminist bitches! Those ones hate me just because I have a penis! MY LIFE IS SO HARD."

YES, STRAIGHT WHITE DUDE IN EXCELLENT HEALTH WITH A SIX-FIGURE SALARY. YOUR EXISTENCE IS SO UNFAIR.

Newsflash: Technology has taken over and geeks are the people making money. (Well, them and sports stars and Hollywood A-listers. Oh, and exploitative religious leaders, but let's not go down that road.) Being a geek is sexy now. Everybody wants to be one. There are entire internet communities devoted to making fun of "mainstream" people who "pretend to be geeks". The fact that you "true geeks" even have a sea of "poseurs" to make fun of like that should say it all.

Being a geek is NOT THE PROBLEM.

Being a shut-in is the problem. Being an asshole is the problem. Having no social skills and saying stupid shit is the problem. Having anger issues is the problem. Treating the very people with whom you want to have a relationship as if they are THE ENEMY and BITCHING about them all the time is the problem. Insulting women in the same breath as saying you want to have sex with them is the problem. Talking to women in ways that clearly indicate you don't care about them as people, only about how soon you can skip to the part where you get to touch their breasts, is the problem. Not seeing how fucking stupid you look when you do all of this is the problem.

Women don't shun you because you have specialized in a science- or technology-related field. Women shun you because you're a shitty person carrying around forty years of barely-restrained confirmation-bias rage that we can smell from across the room. Women shun you because we can tell from the first five minutes of conversation that you hate yourself and you hate us and you're about twenty minutes of antsy, impotent frustration away from shoving your hands down the nearest set of pants you can find.

Seriously. This is not fucking gradeschool anymore, where having a skillset far more developed and specialized than your peers was something that got you beaten up because the layman herd found your knowledge base confusing and therefore undeserving of respect. Now they are trying to catch up and BE YOU.

So get over your bitter high school baggage, you self-centered misogynist shitheel. If you spent half as much energy trying to learn about social dynamics and gender issues as you do creating intricate 30-page rants about the minutae of your latest MMO obsession and complaining about women, you might actually "get laid" occasionally by one or more of them like you so desperately want.

Because that is what you want, right? And you're a geek, right? You're that guy who prides himself on his intellectual curiosity and love of knowledge, right? You're a guy who's all about systems and figuring out how they work, right? You're all about reading up and observing, and you think you're able to assimilate a lot of information in ways most other people can't, right?

RIGHT?

SO STOP BITCHING AND FUCKING GEEK OUT ABOUT THIS ALREADY.
moiread: (BATTLESTAR GALACTICA • cards & cigars.)
There is a Rumi quote being passed around some Buddhist circles on Twitter and through a mutual connection wound up in my social circle. It goes: "Don't get lost in your pain, know that one day your pain will become your cure." And I got really, really angry when I saw it, for reasons that more than a few of you can probably guess already.

Deconstruction time! )
moiread: (HOUSE MD • cranky cloud.)
Well, she posted a bunch, but the one I'm talking about said:

Yeah, but would you burn?

For those of you who have ever told me or any other hearing-impaired person, "Oh, there are times when I can't hear what's going on either!" I have one question:

Have you ever been left in your workplace during a fire drill because you could not hear the fire alarm?

I have.

So if you haven't, kindly shut the frack up next time you want to compare our situations. And then go think on how patronizing and clueless "Oh, everybody has trouble hearing sometimes!" is, when you say it to me and people like me. Thank you.


And you know, I understand that fear. Not because I'm hard of hearing but because of other stuff. I miss fire alarms all the time and have no idea until later. There's not much I can do about it and it scares me shitless that one of these days, the alarm won't be false and I won't come to until I'm trapped. (This is why I insisted on an apartment on the ground floor, too. At least that will increase my chances of getting out at the last minute. Me + meds that knock me out + a day where I can barely walk + stairs + walker + mental confusion = so, so, so bad.)

And my thing that matters for this isn't even all the time, not like hers. Yes, I have days where I'm on heavy-duty pain or migraine meds that leave me incapacitated, confused, or passed out and nearly impossible to rouse, and that's a scary thing for safety. But I also have days where I'm not in that position, whereas she doesn't get to have days where she's not hearing-impaired. I understand the difference there.

As a related aside, though, I've been told to get a service dog to help with this. Service dogs can hit emergency buttons for you, and can wake up or otherwise alert you to things you can't hear, etc, etc. They're super duper awesome helpful! And I know that's true because I know people with service dogs who do these things for them.

But nevertheless, when people say that to me, all I can do is laugh. Because it's a lovely idea... if you don't also have mobility issues (dogs can't carry you to safety!), or the money to afford a service dog, or your health issues would prevent you from properly caring for a dog (and thus you don't meet the requirements for getting one), or you don't have the support system required to help you care for a dog (also a requirement), or you don't have any agencies near you that will provide service dogs on a sliding scale or for "free" (note: not actually free, even for the cost to obtain, despite what it says on the tin), or the agencies near you only provide dogs to people with other health problems you don't have, and so on. Seriously, I've contacted every agency between here and Toronto to see if there were options that could work for me. No dice.

Not that I want an animal I can't care for. But the point is: Helpful solutions -- sometimes neither helpful nor a solution! And those of us who are used to falling between the cracks, of being too much for one solution but too little for another, who get left in the gap to figure everything out ourselves... We get a little bitter about it sometimes. And we're allowed.
moiread: (COMICS • wonder woman.)
And here is my thing to say:

I talk a lot about what's it's like to live with my particular disabilities, and I've posted PSAs a couple of times about Stuff Other People Could Do To Help That Are Actually Helpful To Me Instead of Just Comforting To The 'Helper' and Why, When You Ask Me How I'm Doing, I Usually Shorthand The Truth To "Fine" Even If It's A Complete Lie and like that. So today's lesson will not be about those things.

Today's lesson is about retraining the way you look at, and think about, and respond to disabled people. Or at least the types of disability that I have enough experience with to talk about.

So here goes:

We are not babies. We are not helpless. We are not stupid. Before you rush to help a disabled person with something that seems obvious to you, STOP. Think. Do you actually know this person well enough to know what they are capable or not capable of doing? Have you considered that, if you're wrong and they ARE capable, it is surely really fucking frustrating to have people always assume you can't and rush to your aid like you're in need of saving? Because, sure, helping your fellow man is nice, and opening doors for someone else or helping them pick up something they dropped are general kindnesses that make us Good People. But please, consider: You are probably not the first person to rush in to save the day. Probably not even the hundredth. And when everyone around you, day after day, week after week, year after year, assumes you can't do something, it stops being kind and starts being a message about how everyone sees you. It is a constant BARRAGE, and the amount of it really does matter.

Let me reframe this with an example:

If you were perfectly capable of spelling your own name and yet every single time you ever gave your name to someone, the person standing behind you or next to you interrupted you to add, "That's spelled N-A-M-E," and then smiled at you cheerfully in a silent "you're welcome!", or patted your arm sympathetically, that would suck. Not only are they all assuming incorrect things about you, but then they act like you being grateful for it is just a given. At first, sure, you would think it was an honest mistake or this was just one isolated busybody. You would assume the best and let it go. But it kept happening. After awhile, you would start to get annoyed. You would start to just find it rude, but you would politely put up with it anyway because you don't want to seem bitchy. After all, clearly they all mean well. And then at some point you would stop politely putting up with it and snap, "I CAN SPELL MY OWN NAME, THANK YOU." And then if it still didn't stop (after all, why would yelling at one person suddenly make everyone change?), if for years this continued, it would be beyond really frustrating. Maybe even depressing, that so many people thought you incapable of spelling your own name. Maybe it would start to affect your self-esteem. Maybe you would go back to not saying anything -- not because it didn't bother you but because it had ground you down and picking a fight over it for the thousandth time seemed like a pointless waste of energy.

And what if you actually did have some slight trouble spelling your name? What if you could do it, but it took you a second to think about it and arrange the letters properly? What if nobody ever gave you a chance? What if they noticed your pause, even if it was just for a second or two, and jumped in to spell your own name for you? EVERY TIME? And smiled at you like they were so sure they'd done good and you should be grateful to them? I think I would hate having my trouble rubbed in my face that way every time. I think I would not see the intercessions on my behalf as a helpful thing, because it's not as if the me in this scenario couldn't do it herself. It's just that everyone assumed she was stupid. And I think that would seriously start to affect me.

And now imagine if it wasn't just that one thing. Imagine if the problem had many facets, many situations where that could happen, all kinds of variations on the theme. But none of them happened any less often. They ALL happened ALL the time, and it wasn't just strangers. It was your friends, your family, your lovers. Your coworkers. Your boss. It affected how well people thought you could do your job. It affected your livelihood, and it also affected your ability to fight for that livelihood. And on and on like that.

So think about that before you rush in, assuming you know what's best. If someone is genuinely in distress and nobody helps, that's a terrible thing, but it doesn't have to be either/or, black/white, act like a hero or be a villain. Learn to wait a second and see what happens. Learn to ask. Understand that there is a difference between someone in a wheelchair figuring out how to manage his or her groceries and someone choking to death in a restaurant. Sometimes being kind is saving the day, and sometimes being kind is realizing it's not your day to save.

So yeah. We are not babies. We are not helpless. We are not stupid. We just have a thing that makes life different, sometimes harder, but we are still humans like you.

And this one is especially important for the families, friends, and caregivers of someone with disabilities: If we are over the age of eighteen, then we are also adults. We want to be treated like adults who have a thing, not overgrown children who need to be managed. If you are a person who regularly helps out someone who is disabled in ways that need helping, that is very awesome of you, but do not for one second think that this is All About You. Do not for one second think that you are somehow parenting us, that you get to make All The Decisions for us and speak for us just because you're the one helping, or that you have the right to put all your stuff ahead of ours because you are doing us a favour. (Like, you know, if you offer to drive me to or from somewhere, please don't leave me stranded in your car while you also run two hours of errands. If I needed the ride, it's because I was already in pain or low on energy, etc, and the net result of your actions is that I am worse off after your help than I would have been without it. Seriously, that can wreck me enough to make me miss work on subsequent days. I completely understand that you are doing me a favour, but favours that make people miserable are not actually good. I could have found someone else if it was going to be a problem for you!)

If you wouldn't do it to a healthy adult, don't do it to us. If you cannot do it respectfully, get out. Learn to ask. Learn to negotiate, like with anyone else. You need to plan together, in as much as you're both able, like your priorities are both important, because to do anything less is to assume that we are not really as real as you, that we don't matter as much, that we are burdens or accessories or projects, not people just as valid and feeling as you. The fact that you are healthy enough to do more than I can and help me out does not diminish me as a person. It does not make you better or more important and it does not turn off my brain or how I feel.

Even if I was "helpless", even if I was incapable of feeding myself or wiping my own ass, I'd still be a person, and I'd want to be spoken to and listened to and considered as one, just like you would if I was your perfectly abled neighbour. Even if my level of mental competence was lower than the norm, I'd want to be treated like it's where it's at, at 80% or 50% or wherever, but like my feelings and personhood were at 100%. Not like it's all at zero. Because I'm still a real human being inside this body.

To conclude: You don't like being patronized, probably. Neither do we.

(Blogging Against Disablism Day 2012 roundup.)
moiread: (GLEE • you're lashing out.)
It would be really nice if fewer people got so upset with me about the fact that I go through periods where I do not have the energy to go around initiating conversations with my friends. Or, as the people who get upset would prefer, just them. Because, you know, they are so special that obviously they should be exempt. They don't care if I don't have the energy to be social with anyone else, but they totally deserve my time and attention regardless. This is inevitably ALWAYS the case with people who get upset about this. And also, inevitably, when I tell them (politely, in a warm and friendly tone, because I am trying to be Really Good About Things on my end) that there are days where I would just like to quietly log onto my hobby game and play around a bit without initiating social activities, this is apparently not an acceptable answer, because they didn't realize that saying hello to my friends was such a big deal. God. (And if you read that with a super snotty tone, you got it exactly right, because that's the tone it was said to me in.)

I dunno about you, but if someone were to come up to me out of the blue and say, "Hi! But I don't actually want to talk to you, so bye!", I would find that pretty fucking weird. And not a little rude. I think that just staying quiet and low-key and deciding what to do on a case-by-case basis when other people poke me (instead of the other way around), if they do, is much more sensible and polite.

I can understand how someone else might not approach it the same way, but guilt trips and questioning the validity of my explanation of what I am and am not able to give when I'm doing poorly is really not the way to go about addressing this difference in our expectations. Just a thought. When someone is clingy and demonstrates that they are happy to be passive-aggressive about my lack of communication -- for all of FORTY-EIGHT HOURS, I might add, so it's not like I was MIA for long -- and be a snotty petulant shit about it, any interest I may have had in spending time with them now that I am being social again today goes right back down to zero.

Less than zero, even. Gonna be awhile before I accept any social contact from that "friend" again. And I respect them a lot less, too.

Clearly their strategy was super successful!

PS: If you are reading this, you are not one of the people who does this to me, and I love you for it. Please continue to be awesome and to keep me as your friend despite my limitations, because you make my life better for being in it. Not everyone is so awesome, and when they are PHENOMINALLY less than awesome, I kind of need to put it somewhere so that I don't snap and verbally shiv them in the kidneys.
moiread: (MUSIC • guitar.)
So, uh. I'm a radio DJ now. I completely forgot to mention that here when it happened. WOOPS!

I was approached about it a few weeks ago, and had my audition show on the 21st of last month. The audition show was CRAZY -- they threw every horrible listener experience they've ever had at me, all at once, to see how I rolled with it -- but I passed with flying colours and we made it official right after. I have since been catching up (whenever my health permits; it's been a bad run lately) on all the shiny new responsibilities I have with the station. It's an internet radio station, of course, because there's no way my health could permit me to go work at one in-person right now, but I've been helping out there for a year now as a volunteer on the Street Team and I'm thrilled to be part of the actual staff now!

I've told a few people individually so far and, in nearly all cases, the conversation has pretty much gone like this:

"I'm a DJ at an internet radio station now! I'm so excited!"
"Are you a real DJ?"
"...Yes?"
"So you use turntables and everything?"
"No. That's turntabling. That is a recent niche subset of DJing."
"Oh. I thought that's what DJ meant."
"DJ just means 'disk jockey'. It just refers to anyone who selects and plays recorded music for an audience. Any person you hear on the radio is a DJ. So yes, I am a 'real' DJ, just like every other DJ since the dawn of entertainment radio has also been a real DJ, including before turntabling was a thing."

So now you know! I am a DJ; I do not turntable. Not that there is anything wrong with turntabling, but it is a bit frustrating to have that conversation over and over and feel like my pride and excitement in this new venture is somehow being devalued. So now you know! And we do not have to have that conversation. Awkwardness avoided!

I am really excited, you guys. As many of you know, I am a pretty big music geek and I love to put together playlists and mixes, so this is right up my alley. I intend to play a lot of stuff that the station doesn't see much of, like pop, dance music, 80s, folk, blues, and the occasional stint of world music and ambient. I am going to have SO MUCH FUN. :D

And speaking of which: My debut show is tonight. Well, technically it's actually the wee hours of tomorrow morning, because it runs from midnight to 3am, but who's counting? Because it's such a late-night timeslot, I'm going to be debuting with pop, dance, and techno. If that sounds like your thing, you should definitely tune in by visiting The Cape Radio's website. The link to tap into the broadcast stream is right up there at the top, under "GET CONNECTED". Just select your music player of choice and enjoy!

And I'm sorry if this announcement sounds bleh and cranky. I am super tired and in need of a nap so I can be all happy and high-energy tonight. Hope to see you there!

PS: I've also made a twitter account for my DJ persona, where I will talk about DJ stuff, link to new music I find that I feel is worth sharing, and announce upcoming shows. For the moment, I'm just a fill-in DJ (by my preference), so those announcements are the best way to find out when I'm going to be on. :)

PPS: The station itself is called The Cape Radio, because it's staffed (and primarily listened to) by players of the City of Heroes MMORPG, but we have a lot of listeners from outside the game as well. I just figured I should explain that so you're not really confused by all the fake ads for in-game companies and bumpers full of jokes about the game. ;)

PPPS: Yes, I totally wound up named after my snake. It honestly just worked out that way, I SWEAR.

PSA:

Jun. 21st, 2011 08:07 pm
moiread: (together / when we were small • stock)
I know y'all are worried about me and I love you for caring enough to be concerned, but I have two general requests to make:

Request #1: Please do not make me plan how you can help me.

I am tired on a level that is impossible to explain and even my basic mental faculties are still not entirely back to where they should be. If you want to do something to help, I would probably like that very much. I also totally recognize that when you ask me, "What can I do to help?", you are trying to be considerate and ensure that the help you're giving will actually be helpful. But I can't answer that question -- I genuinely don't have the energy right now to even think about planning what other people need to do -- so the result will be that I ask you for nothing. And that sucks, because you want to help and I do need it. But I need you to understand that just trying to manage myself is enough right now. Trying to organize other people too is beyond me. It really, really is. So the solution is this: Come up with stuff and offer it to me. If you give me a few options to choose from, I will be able to tell you yes or no or how one of your ideas could be altered slightly to make it more useful. (Talking to me about it first instead of just coming over and doing stuff is, obviously, very important. It's my home and my life, so it's right that I should have executive veto power, and it doesn't mean that I don't appreciate what you're trying to do.) But once I have had a chance to use my executive veto power, you can go do the thing you came up with, knowing that you are helping me, and you are doing it in a way that doesn't make life harder for me in another area. I know it seems counter-intuitive to think that asking me how you can help is bad, but hopefully my explanation has made some sense of it for you.

Request #2: Could everybody -- yes, everybody! -- please refrain from asking me how I'm doing?

I hate that question even on good days. On good days, I grit my teeth and answer it anyway as best as I can because I know it's well-intentioned. And I still know that now. You are asking because you care, and that is wonderful and I am grateful. But these are not good days, and I don't have the energy. If you ask me how I'm doing, I have to almost physically force myself to not just walk away from the conversation entirely without a word. Seriously. I am not kidding. Closing the IM window/hanging up the phone on the spot and leaving you to worry that I just passed out is actually preferable to me than answering that question. I make myself reply and continue to talk to y'all afterwards because I love you and I don't want to be rude or freak you out, but I need the asking of that question to stop. Especially since you all have access to my LJ or my Twitter, or both, so you actually already know. When you ask me how I'm doing anyway, you're using that question as a shorthand for saying that you care about me and are worried about me. I get that, and again, it's lovely of you. But I can't cope with it being expressed in that way right now. Not even from one person. Definitely not from twenty or thirty people, which means twenty or thirty different conversations where I relay the exact same information over and over to nobody's benefit. That's depressing, and again, it's energy I don't have to spare. I would much rather that you ditched the shorthand and just told me that you care about me and are worried about me! It's not only the truer option, but it's better for me too.


I kind of feel like putting this on LJ is douchey, but it seems like the best/easiest way to say it to everybody at once without making anyone feel singled out. Or at least that's my hope. If it's actually icky and I'm just not aware of how upsetting it is, I want to know, but if you could maybe, um, hold off on chewing me out for it until next week or so, I'd appreciate that too. ;)

Just having to write this has used up most of what little cope I have for tonight, so now I'mma go watch episodes of something or other on my phone. In bed. Because bed is awesome.

(FYI: Still not sleeping through the night, but it's getting better. The gaps are getting shorter and I'm no longer having outright panic attacks about falling asleep. Sleeping alone in the apartment is still very nerve-wracking, but I'm working up to it. I only let somebody stay in the same room as me once, for a few hours. And I'm going to keep pushing this, because having overnight vigils every night is not a workable thing for very long. So. I'll get there. Maybe tomorrow night I'll try going it totally solo; having the panic button system thingie installed tomorrow afternoon will help my nerves a lot.)
moiread: (sea creatures • jenny l.)
Right, so. I remember how many of you replied when I offered out that vibrator last time, and I definitely know how many of you I've played Vibrator Fairy to, so I thought y'all might want to know...

EdenFantasys is having yet another vibrator giveaway! Zini has put out four new super adorable high-quality luxury vibrators and if you win, you can have your pick of them. Entering is easy: you just tweet about it, blog about it, like it on Facebook, comment to tell them why you think these vibrators look awesome, etc, and each one counts as another chance to win.

GO FORTH. WIN AWESOME THINGS. HAVE FUN WITH YOUR BODY. :D
moiread: (Default)
I've been spending all of my free time with Rae ([livejournal.com profile] soire) at the hospital, or with the rest of the family, and coming home really wiped every day. I doubt this comes as a shock to anybody who knows me and my health problems, or who knows how tiring even a little bit of caregiver duty can be. But people keep acting surprised when I don't have the energy to do anything but sleep once I'm home.

They ask me, "Where have you been?"

"At the hospital," I reply. "You can follow my Twitter if you want to know what's going on, or just check the recaps when they get gathered up and posted to LJ every night."

And the conversations continue:

"Well, it just seems like you're having a rough time, is all."

Yes. My general health is not very good right now, and I'm also just getting over the flu. (Again. That was the second flu I've had in about the last month and a bit.) And people I care about aren't doing very well either. It's a rough time all around. But we're all doing our best. We're keeping our heads above water.

"Well, if you ever need to vent about what's going on, like when you come home from the hospital or whatever, to get stuff off your chest, I'm here!"

Well, thank you. But I am not angry or frustrated or depressed. I don't have anything to get off my chest. It's not that kind of thing. Stuff's going about as well as it can, and I'm happy to be there as often as I can manage it, doing whatever I can to help. This is not a burden. This is not a terrible trial under which I am struggling to cope. I want to be doing this and I am actively choosing to. These are the people I love. And beyond that, like with the medical details and all, the rest is not mine to share. So thank you, but no.

I get that the people saying this to me mean very well, and I am grateful that they care enough to approach me and try to offer something that they think might be helpful. But "talk to me, talk to me, talk to me!!!" is not helpful to me right now. It only makes me withdraw. Right now I don't have room for talking much, and little to talk about when I do. What is helpful to me right now is just patience. Patience and quiet. Give me room. Do not make demands of me, because having to tell you no makes me feel bad, and blatant grabs for my attention just make me shut down completely. Guilt-trips about how much you miss me when I responded to you just twelve hours ago are especially right out. Stuff is going on that is very important to me, and it's taking up all of my time, and everything else can wait. The stuff that can't is getting done too. I am okay. (Well. As okay as I ever am, I suppose.)

This is just how crises go. It too shall pass, and things will even out again. I'll be back before too long. So just wait, please.
moiread: (hearts! • stock.)


You are my very favourite people.

PSA.

Jan. 7th, 2009 10:19 pm
moiread: (bookish • liv t.)
Better perspectives on the LJ layoffs:

"DON'T PANIC" over at [livejournal.com profile] ayoub
"EVERYBODY PANIC!!!" over at [livejournal.com profile] ebenbrooks

PSA:

Dec. 10th, 2008 07:42 am
moiread: (sigh • lauren a.)
Hooooly crap. Everything is covered in really bad ice and it's turning the roads into a death trap. The Queensway is a massive parking lot, the sidewalks are insane, and it took my mother forty minutes to get all the ice off her car only to discover that she was sliding around dangerously as soon as she got her wheels going. Downtown is a zoo, between the ice and the snow and the picketers. Even emergency services like fire trucks and ambulances are having a hard time getting through the corporate sector, since everything is so backed up and generally fucked.

So please, if you have any option at all of not leaving the house today, take it. I already know some of you do not have that option, but for anyone who does, STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM THE ROADS. Thanks.

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Chelle

November 2015

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