moiread: (GEEK • computer love!)
My cellphone is currently in for repairs and not having it is driving me absolutely batshit. I do have a landline, specifically because my Lifeline medical service needs one, but it doesn't normally even have a physical phone hooked up to it. I stole a spare wall phone from my parents', though, so that I could have a way to call out while I wait to get my real phone back.

I got my first ever phone call on the landline today and it was GREAT.

The call was supposedly from a guy at "Windows Technical Support", trying to inform me that my computer has been hacked! It is doing very bad things, ma'am! I must let him help me fix it or it will become very bad problem very soon!

Me: "Uhhh. What?"
Him: "We have been sending you notices, ma'am. You not get our notices, ma'am?"
Me: "No. And my computer is fine."
Him: "No, no, it is very bad. You may think this, ma'am, but it is very bad problem. It is hacked! This is Windows Technical Support, ma'am. I have your security ID. I can give you security ID and you can confirm on your PC. Go to your PC, go to Start Menu, and I will show you."
Me: "How did you get this number?"
Him: "This is number you registered Microsoft with, ma'am. We have IT department and they trace this number back to you with security ID."
Me: "Okay, registering my Microsoft is not actually a thing. And this number is less than three months old*. My copy of WINDOWS, not Microsoft, is much older than that and was registered as a different person with different contact information than me. You're very bad at this."
Him: "No, ma'am, maybe you think that, but we have IT Department, and they get this number."
Me: "From whom? From Bell? From Rogers? They gave you my information?"
Him: "Yes, ma'am."
Me: "Those are two different companies. You are VERY bad at this."
Him: "Ma'am, you must believe me, this is very serious. I can give you security ID. You can confirm on your PC. For last fifteen days, your computer is hacked and doing very bad things."
Me: "For the last fifteen days, my computer has been TURNED OFF, because I was out of town. You are the worst scammer ever."

Eventually I hung up. But it was fun. I never get scam calls! This totally made my day. Though, as [ profile] harald387 pointed out, I probably get them all the time and just have no idea because normally there's no phone there to ring.

Maybe I should just keep the phone so really bad scammers can continue to amuse me. :D

* I swapped providers for the landline this past spring, and with that came a new number.
moiread: (sea creatures • jenny l.)
So on a happier note: I popped into the PizzaPizza by my apartment on my way back from the post office and now I have hot greasy disgusting delicious $2 pizza.

Also I saw the promotional materials they have up for "ParaNorman". Normally I don't even give promo stuff a second glance, but some of these actually made me laugh. They did it best with the chili: The plastic cup features Norman's face but cuts off right above his eyebrows, so that he is missing the top of his head. Which they then fill with chili to make CHILI BRAINS. I pictured little kids with red-smeared faces and enthusiastic spoon-waving, enjoying their meal of Norman's brains.

It's just a small thing but it made my day.
moiread: (LOST GIRL • love you best.)
Here, have a sleepy puppy:

moiread: (joy! • stock.)
To lighten the mood:

Outdoor fuckin' starts today! )

Press play and then, when the bottom left menu loads, click the button labeled "CC" for English captions. There will be two lines throughout -- the top one will show the lyrics, while the bottom will show the actual translation of the signs. The fact that CaptainValor does both, side by side, is part of why he is awesome.

Also, songs are an awesome way to learn ASL, provided you can get help with the grammar. (Like helpful people who include the literal sign translations. See above, re: CaptainValor, awesome.)
moiread: (Default)
Chuck: Anything good happen since lunch?
Chelle: Not really? I started chatting with this guy I'm considering going on a date with and figured that, since we've been doing the whole sharing-of-personal-stuff thing lately, it was a good time to drop a couple of the bombs I usually hold onto until further in.
Chelle: His reaction was kind of not ideal.
Chelle: Not in the sense that it scared him off but in the sense that apparently he is a "sympathy is for other people, I believe in bootstraps or bust" kind of guy.
Chuck: Ugh.
Chelle: Yeah.
Chuck: (Also, you've hauled yourself up pretty well, considering. Nobody can actually just pick themselves up, that is the point of the bootstrap metaphor, but you haven't just sat at home coming unravelled.)
Chelle: Thank you!
Chelle: I mean, really, I am a pretty good example of somebody figuring her shit out without a whole lot of support. I don't usually play the comparison card, but I have certainly overcome worse than he has. And yet I appear to be in a way healthier place about things like basic social kindnesses and being fair to people and their circumstances. Yeeg.
Chuck: People who've ACTUALLY had to struggle usually are.
Chuck: (In a healthier place, I mean.)
Chelle: The last thing I am interested in from anybody in my life, let alone somebody I'm gonna date, is a patronizing lecture about how in the end I'll see it was all good for me because it taught me to be self-sufficient.
Chelle: Like, buddy, if you have fetishized self-sufficiency to that degree, why are you looking for a relationship?
Chuck: Obviously, for the blowjobs - the most Objectivist form of sex.
Chelle: I love you.
Chuck: And I strive to deserve that.
Chelle: So besides getting all of your errands run, how has your day been?
Chuck: Not bad. I'm still feeling a little bit like a dick about missing my friend's birthday thing, but you know.
Chelle: I'm sure it wasn't that huge of a deal, but you're sweet for self-flagellating.
Chuck: So what we've learned today: Blowjobs are for Rand-worshipping jerks, and getting whipped is adorable.
Chuck: We might have issues.
Chelle: Might? ;)
moiread: (wtf • alicia w.)
Chelle: Holy shit. The maintenance tunnels under the city are full of little aliens crawling around on all fours like fleshy babies with MOUTHS FULL OF JAGGED TEETH INSTEAD OF FACES!
Chelle: And then there are bigger ones with eggplant heads split open to reveal their giant throbbing purple brains. DEAR GOD THIS PLACE IS CREEPY.
Kevin: Uhhhhhhh. Chelle?
Kevin: Maybe you should, um, lay off the egg rolls for awhile, okay?
Chelle: Oh shut up.
moiread: (bedmonster • alicia w.)

Chelle: I would love to hang out and play SW with you guys but I have the dead.
Chelle: I think I just need to go to sleep. Do not pass go, do not collect $200, etc.
Kevin: Sleep well!
Chelle: I am sad to not have the energy for my friends/hobbies this past week.
Chelle: Waaaaah my life is hard.
Kevin: *patpat*
Kevin: It's not as if you're still recovering from four weeks of constant pain or something.
Chelle: You and your logic.
Chelle: Honestly.
Chelle: What is that shit.
Kevin: I don't know.
Kevin: I suspect your relentless sensibleness may actually be rubbing off on me.
Chelle: There are worse fates.
Kevin: I don't know.
Kevin: Anything of yours rubbing on me is pretty terrible.
Kevin: Lord knows what I'd catch.
Chelle: See, there now, you've gone and ruined a perfectly good friendship moment.
Chelle: Clearly you are still thoroughly yourself.

I'm sure I will become an interesting human being again... soon. Yes.

In the meantime, have a giggle while you wait:

moiread: (bedmonster • alicia w.)
I am totally sitting here eating chocolate cake and catching up on Chronic Illness Cat. You may remember my previous CIC macro spam post. Have another! *grin*


I totally needed that laugh. Hee.
moiread: (GEEK • talk nerdy to me.)
The best one is the frontmost "slice", where you can see the forehead part of my skull, and my sinuses, and my eyeballs, and my nose bones, but not yet far enough in that you hit my cheekbones and jaw. So it totally looks like my skull is a Cthuloid alien thing:

Is that not totally awesome?

I wish we'd been able to get video of them scrolling through the scan, but Rae had to sneak up to the nurse's station with a bogus story/excuse just to ninja me a photo. Alas. ;)
moiread: (GEEK • gaming.)
If any of you have an Apple or Android smartphone, you should grab the Words With Friends app and come play with me. It's really just Scrabble with the serial numbers filed off, but it operates on the theory that people will play in fits and starts whenever they have time -- you just leave it in the background and poke it when you want to. You can have a whole bunch of games going at once, and each one could happily take a week to complete if both people are often busy. I'm totally digging it so far! My username is "chellenator" if you want to find me and start a game. :D
moiread: (giggle • kristin k.)
This is basically what baking with Rose ([ profile] unintendedmuse) and Brit ([ profile] september_storm) and Julie ([ profile] riddled) was like that one time. (When it was Rose and Sheena ([ profile] lovedbythesun) and everybody was drunk, my "assistants" still at least knew what they were doing...)

I think at some point we should have people in from out of town again and then we should all bake while baked. And then Rose's mom can just stand there and facepalm at us. I feel like that would be exactly what this year needs to make it better. ♥
moiread: (laugh! • julia s.)
These made me laugh until I cried. I can barely get around today, so I needed that a lot.

I am going to spam you with a ridiculous number of cat macros now. You can just cope!

moiread: (giggle • kristin k.)
Somebody just sent me a certain fun toy from Venus Envy, my favourite local store for sex-related items. I have no idea who did it, since it came gift-wrapped with a gift receipt and with these sorts of online purchases, the return address is the store it was bought from. VERY CLEVER, YOU.

So whoever you are: Thank you!

I'm always playing Vibrator Fairy for my friends, but apart from Meg ([ profile] chaedyn), the friend who bought me my very first sex toy when I was seventeen, nobody's ever played Vibrator Fairy for me before. I am very very amused.
moiread: (it's a funny story • camilla b.)
Chelle: Oh god I'm having sudden stabbing monster cramps.
Chelle: If I have to have the evil deathplague flu AND my jesusfuckingchrist period (AGAIN) at the same time, I may very well throw myself out my goddamn window.
Rose: You live on the ground floor.
Chelle: Hush. You weren't supposed to point that out.
Chelle: You're totally messing with my tantrum chi, here.
Rose: I'm sorry!
moiread: (giggle • kristin k.)
Dude. I don't mean to be a shill or anything, but the Philips' Sonicare Toothbrush is awesome. It's got a bunch of different modes (quick clean, gum massage, MAXIMUM CLEAN, and a thing where you can tell it to ramp up the intensity slowly over your first two weeks if you find that a vibrating mouth takes a little getting used to), and pre-programmed brushing routines that beep helpfully when it's time to switch to a different part of your mouth. Plus, once you're done, you take off the brush head and stick it in a special compartment to UV STERILIZE IT. I feel like I'm brushing with SCIENCE! now, and suddenly brushing my teeth actually seems like a lot of fun.

(Also, talking while your mouth is vibrating at a high pitch is really entertaining. But of course, only someone really juvenile would enjoy that. Orrrr try it several times to see what sorts of funny voices they could make. Um.)


moiread: (Default)

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