moiread: (Default)
Chuck: Anything good happen since lunch?
Chelle: Not really? I started chatting with this guy I'm considering going on a date with and figured that, since we've been doing the whole sharing-of-personal-stuff thing lately, it was a good time to drop a couple of the bombs I usually hold onto until further in.
Chelle: His reaction was kind of not ideal.
Chelle: Not in the sense that it scared him off but in the sense that apparently he is a "sympathy is for other people, I believe in bootstraps or bust" kind of guy.
Chuck: Ugh.
Chelle: Yeah.
Chuck: (Also, you've hauled yourself up pretty well, considering. Nobody can actually just pick themselves up, that is the point of the bootstrap metaphor, but you haven't just sat at home coming unravelled.)
Chelle: Thank you!
Chelle: I mean, really, I am a pretty good example of somebody figuring her shit out without a whole lot of support. I don't usually play the comparison card, but I have certainly overcome worse than he has. And yet I appear to be in a way healthier place about things like basic social kindnesses and being fair to people and their circumstances. Yeeg.
Chuck: People who've ACTUALLY had to struggle usually are.
Chuck: (In a healthier place, I mean.)
Chelle: The last thing I am interested in from anybody in my life, let alone somebody I'm gonna date, is a patronizing lecture about how in the end I'll see it was all good for me because it taught me to be self-sufficient.
Chelle: Like, buddy, if you have fetishized self-sufficiency to that degree, why are you looking for a relationship?
Chuck: Obviously, for the blowjobs - the most Objectivist form of sex.
Chelle: I love you.
Chuck: And I strive to deserve that.
Chelle: So besides getting all of your errands run, how has your day been?
Chuck: Not bad. I'm still feeling a little bit like a dick about missing my friend's birthday thing, but you know.
Chelle: I'm sure it wasn't that huge of a deal, but you're sweet for self-flagellating.
Chuck: So what we've learned today: Blowjobs are for Rand-worshipping jerks, and getting whipped is adorable.
Chuck: We might have issues.
Chelle: Might? ;)
moiread: (wtf • alicia w.)
Chelle: Holy shit. The maintenance tunnels under the city are full of little aliens crawling around on all fours like fleshy babies with MOUTHS FULL OF JAGGED TEETH INSTEAD OF FACES!
Chelle: And then there are bigger ones with eggplant heads split open to reveal their giant throbbing purple brains. DEAR GOD THIS PLACE IS CREEPY.
Kevin: Uhhhhhhh. Chelle?
Kevin: Maybe you should, um, lay off the egg rolls for awhile, okay?
Chelle: Oh shut up.
moiread: (bedmonster • alicia w.)

Chelle: I would love to hang out and play SW with you guys but I have the dead.
Chelle: I think I just need to go to sleep. Do not pass go, do not collect $200, etc.
Kevin: Sleep well!
Chelle: I am sad to not have the energy for my friends/hobbies this past week.
Chelle: Waaaaah my life is hard.
Kevin: *patpat*
Kevin: It's not as if you're still recovering from four weeks of constant pain or something.
Chelle: You and your logic.
Chelle: Honestly.
Chelle: What is that shit.
Kevin: I don't know.
Kevin: I suspect your relentless sensibleness may actually be rubbing off on me.
Chelle: There are worse fates.
Kevin: I don't know.
Kevin: Anything of yours rubbing on me is pretty terrible.
Kevin: Lord knows what I'd catch.
Chelle: See, there now, you've gone and ruined a perfectly good friendship moment.
Chelle: Clearly you are still thoroughly yourself.

I'm sure I will become an interesting human being again... soon. Yes.

In the meantime, have a giggle while you wait:

moiread: (HARRY POTTER • librarian/dominatrix.)
A natural carryover from this entry.

Chelle: Blanket octopuses are fucking weird.
Kevin: ...This sounds like something I need a picture of.
Chelle: http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l1gljsiaxy1qzm6k1o1_500.jpg
Chelle: It's basically like a regular octopus but with thin connective tissue between each of its tentacles.
Kevin: http://curiouscreatures.files.wordpress.com/2010/12/blanketoctopus.jpg
Kevin: Hee.
Chelle: When the females come across a Portugese Man O' War, they tear it apart, pick out the venomous stringy bits, discard the rest, and then carry them around to use as a weapon. Like death whips.
Chelle: 'Cuz they don't use ink. INK IS FOR PUSSIES.
Chelle: Why scare your enemies by squirting funny-coloured water at them when you can just slap them with poison death instead?
Chelle: Now with bonus EXCRUCIATING PAIN! Make your enemies truly suffer!
Chelle: Also: extreme sexual dimorphism. Females are like 2m long. Males are like 2cm long.
Chelle: Males have a special penis arm that stores sperm and then DETACHES to crawl over the female and find the hole and go inside and fertilize shit. And then the male dies, because it just tore off its own dick/arm.
Kevin: o_O
Kevin: That's it.
Kevin: You're not allowed to talk to me about biology anymore.
Chelle: :D
moiread: (it's a funny story • camilla b.)
Chelle: Oh god I'm having sudden stabbing monster cramps.
Chelle: If I have to have the evil deathplague flu AND my jesusfuckingchrist period (AGAIN) at the same time, I may very well throw myself out my goddamn window.
Rose: You live on the ground floor.
Chelle: Hush. You weren't supposed to point that out.
Chelle: You're totally messing with my tantrum chi, here.
Rose: I'm sorry!
moiread: (SUPERNATURAL • the impala.)
Julie and I IMing back and forth as I watched the episode. Spoileriffic.

"These aren't vampires! They're DOUCHEBAGS." )
moiread: (bookish • liv t.)
Rose: How about you?
Chelle: Well. I can get around without falling over today.
Chelle: And I am not currently throwing up.
Chelle: So now all I have on my plate, unless either of those two come back, is my feet and the brain fog and the lady-cramps and feeling like I've been hit by a truck.
Chelle: Which is better than I've been at any other point this week.
Chelle: So.
Chelle: Pretty good, comparatively?
Rose: High five.

And that is why I hate being asked how I'm doing. I mean, yes, some people actually want to know the answer when they ask (like Rose did), and that's always fine. But most of the time it's just asked as part of the ritual of casual conversation, and oh lord, I hate it. Because I am not so socially blind that I can't tell the difference, and I know that what I'm supposed to say is, "Good!" or "Fine!" or something like that, so I do, but then people are always confused later by the idea that I have health problems. I don't "look sick", so unless I basically beat them over the head with it repeatedly over time, they think I must be histrionic. But then if I do answer honestly every time I'm asked, nobody wants to talk to me anymore because all they wanted was a casual interaction and I keep making it srs bsns and depressing. I CANNOT WIN. :|
moiread: (SNAKE • eve the corn snake.)
Chelle: Sometimes my snake is silly.
Chuck: What can a snake do that is silly?
Chelle: I was offering her a mouse, and touched her nose with it. She opened her mouth. I moved the mouse away, she closed her mouth. I touched her nose with it, she opened her mouth. We did this a few more times because it was amusing. At no point did she attempt to strike. That didn't happen until I held the mouse at viewing distance and wiggled it until she noticed.
Chuck: Sometimes I'm like that too.
Chelle: I'm guessing I hit some kind of automatic reflex.
Chuck: You could test it again next time.
Chuck: You should make a note.
Chelle: I totally plan to. I'm just a jerk like that.
Chelle: Once she'd taken the mouse, I left her to eat in peace. I got distracted, took longer than I usually do, and came back assuming I'd find her sitting grumpily in her bin, waiting to be transferred.
Chelle: Instead I found her stretched out with her head bent almost completely back over her neck at a truly terrible angle, her entire mouth and upper neck distended in a way I've never seen before, and she wasn't moving or breathing. Half the mouse was still hanging out.
Chelle: I watched for awhile just to make sure about the breathing part.
Chelle: So me being me, once it was clear she wasn't even breathing, I freaked out a little and used the tongs to touch her very gently and see if she responded at all.
Chelle: (Because if she had not somehow just managed to break her neck, don't ask me how but I wouldn't put it past her, me poking her would be really annoying.)
Chelle: She clearly rolled her little red eye around to look at me, wiggled a little, and then went back to lying there.
Chelle: After I got her bin turned at various angles for a better look, it became clear that she was having trouble with one mouse arm, and she'd managed to just kind of keep swallowing along the opposite side until the mouse was at a completely unmanageable angle.
Chelle: So she was taking a break.
Chuck: That kind of thing is considerably less creepy when you don't swallow your meals whole.
Chelle: A minute or so later, she started moving again.
Chelle: She very slowly, very carefully worked the mouse back out of her throat until she was back at the head, carefully inched her jaw sideways until it just enveloped the problematic arm, kind of slurped a little, and then very rapidly chomped down the mouse all the way to the tail and seemed satisfied.
Chelle: Then she twisted sideways and I heard a little crunching noise, and the sharp lump of problem arm distending her skin from the inside was no more.
Chelle: So I went to put her back in her terrarium, and she went halfway into her log hide and then seemed to decide she was too tired to go any further.
Chelle: She just kind of stopped and went bleh.
Chelle: I thought, "I know exactly how you feel."
Chelle: So, yah. Sometimes my snake is silly.
moiread: (shrug! :) • zooey d.)
Shani: I totally just woke up from a dream about you half an hour ago. Pretty weird.
Chelle: !
Shani: Indeed
Chelle: Did I do anything awesome?
Shani: I lived in the US and I'd gone over for a visit
Shani: Er... we decided to be FWB, and then I realised oh duh, you don't live anywhere near me, unhelpful
Shani: But also you threw bread to people (not kidding)
Shani: From a balcony
Shani: They were very grateful
Shani: I think you even spread tomato paste and put slices of cheese on some of them first
Shani: So they could turn them into cheese on toast more easily
Shani: So that apparently is you in my head: sensible about sex, and wanting to feed the masses :P
Shani: I think I also told you you had lovely breasts.
Chelle: ....
Chelle: I can totally live with that.
moiread: (tongue! • jenny l.)
Chelle: Man, I am such a movie weeper.
Chelle: It's ridiculous.
Chuck: I do it sometimes. Well, basically just Six String Samurai and Das Boot, but still.
Chelle: It started a few years ago, and now it's terrible.
Chelle: All it takes is a kid with a band-aid and some sweeping violins and BAM! I start tearing up.
Chelle: It's almost at the point of puppies-in-toilet-paper-commercials bad.
Chelle: I can't decide if it's a sign of emotional growth or if I'm losing parts of my brain.
Chuck: It can be both!
Chelle: GEE THANKS.
Chuck: Oh, yeah, that wasn't good, was it.

Uh-huh.

Jul. 20th, 2010 10:02 pm
moiread: (mischief/smug • maria m.)
Rose: I love that you're so easy.
Rose: -going. I mean easy-going.
moiread: (innocent! • bonnie w.)
Kevin: Why does this remind me of you? http://www.stonemakerargument.com/5.html
Chelle: Because you've dealt with me even casually anytime in the last decade.
moiread: (zomg! • kate m.)
Chuck: I'm usually pretty pro-clothing, as you know, but damn if whiskey isn't just better with my shirt off.

HA.

Mar. 23rd, 2010 01:26 pm
moiread: (facepalm • famke j.)
Friend: "Wait, you also have sleep apnea? You use a CPAP for breathing problems at night?"
Me: "Yep."
Friend: "Christ, I need a database to keep up with your health problems."
Me: "I'M SORRY."
Friend: "You're so exquisitely broken."
moiread: (chin in hand • kate h.)
Chuck: If you're about:
Chuck: How are you doing? Vague LJ entry, I know you can make it work, but I like to hear you're okay.
Chelle: I'm alright. Thanks for asking. :)
Chelle: Just realized I had some social PTSD and need to deal with it. )
moiread: (baking • GLEE.)
BB: -bite-
Chelle: <3!
BB: how goes?
Chelle: Good!
Chelle: Well.
BB: just okie dokie?
Chelle: I'm not thrilled about the annual Parker Family Christmas Disaster, and my afternoon was mostly focused on wanting to strangle my mother.
Chelle: But all of that is par for the course, really, and I've spent the last couple hours goofing off with my brother so now I feel happy. :)

We did Lindy Hop around the kitchen and I taught him some kitchen skills. Soon we will go wrap presents, and tomorrow I am helping him do the last of his Christmas shopping. I love that kid.
moiread: (innocent! • bonnie w.)
BB: Hello!
Chelle: Hi!
Chelle: Do you want a screaming baby? :D
BB: Okay! Can I EET it?
BB: nom! nom! nom!
Chelle: Sure!
Chelle: I sell it to you for $20!
BB: SOLD!
Chelle: Excellent! I'll let his mom know. You can pick him up anytime.
moiread: (weary • julie m.)
Rose: I do not know how to feel about an SPN femmeslash challenge.
Rose: On the one hand, I support femmeslash challenges of any kind.
Rose: On the other, I am kind of "Bzuh?" because SPN does not lend itself well to femmeslash.
Chelle: Yeah. Most of the characters are dudes, and the women don't seem to have met each other.
Chelle: I mean, who are you going to slash?
Chelle: Jo/Meg? The hunter girl and the female demon who assaulted her in a dude's body?
Chelle: Meg/Eva? Crazy demon villain and crazy psikid who went over to the demonside?
Chelle: Jo/Sarah, if art-collector-girl ever came back because of another problem or wanted to get involved in hunting shit?
Rose: I liked Sarah.
Rose: She was sane, did not die, and was not a demon.
Rose: All reasons why she has never been seen again, I think.
Chelle: Ellen/Missouri? The middle-aged psychic and the middle-aged bar owner, both friends of John?
Chelle: I genuinely cannot picture Ruby/Meg, despite that they're both demons and knew of each other.
Rose: Neither can I.
Rose: I can picture Meg/Bela.
Rose: As a Hell thing.
Chelle: That would be a really sad fic. :(
Chelle: It would be all abusive and stuff.
Chelle: And Bela would be all broken.
Chelle: And it would be depressing and awful.
Rose: Yes, it would.
Chelle: So yeah. Those are the only plausible connections, I think.
Rose: there's girl!Dean and girl!Sam, apparently.
Chelle: GHFSDJGHKSFJLDHGKLSJDHFGSD
Chelle: EW NO BAD
Chelle: BAD FANGIRLS
Chelle: NO WINCEST
Chelle: WHAP WITH NEWSPAPER
Chelle: GO TO YOUR ROOMS
Rose: Oh my god there's even young!Mary/RUBY
Chelle: WHAT THE EVER LIVING FUCK
Rose: and girl!Bobby/Ellen
Chelle: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Rose: I think my inner fangirl just died a sad, traumatized death
Chelle: Well.
Chelle: I still think that's better than anybody trying to do Jo/Ellen mother-daughter incest slash.
Rose: Damn it.
Rose: Because you said it, it will now happen.
Chelle: Jesus fucking christ on a flaming shit pogostick, I really hope not. I might really have to go hide under my desk for awhile if that happens.
Chelle: Why is SPN fandom so fucked up?
Rose: I wish I knew.

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