So you remember how I was going to buy a new computer and finance it through my dad? And how that didn't work out? Well, I had decided to ask John (theweaselking
) if I could finance it through The Bank of Weasels instead, which was a really hard decision for me to make. I don't like borrowing money from anybody, and I especially don't like borrowing it from my parents, as you know. But I like borrowing it from my friends even less than that, because if something goes wrong with my finances for awhile (which has happened more than once already through no fault of my own, because I live off a bureaucratic system and sometimes paperwork gets fucked up and it can take months to sort out), I will feel worse than dirt, worse than dogshit, for leaving my friend in the lurch for awhile on repayment. In fact, I'm not sure I've ever really borrowed money from friends before. If I did, it was, like, the cost of a fast food lunch, and then I bought them lunch in return the next week. Stuff like that. It's never been anything big, or anything anybody gave two shits about. I hate the idea of really borrowing money. But I needed
a new computer, so I went to go ask, and then John was a kind enough soul that he beat me to it and cheerfully volunteered while I was still fumbling around trying to find words.
And then a thing happened. I should have made this post sooner, but I'm finding it hard to talk about this. Every time I start, I get all choked up and I just start making these useless motions with my hands and I can't type properly. But I can't not
say this! You need to know what happened and I have to say thank you.
What happened is that Kevin (harald387
) and John (theweaselking
) decided to take up a collection. They went around e-mailing and dropping LJ comments to a whole big cross-section of my friends. I caught on, and then they told me straight-up what they were doing and that people were donating already, and I started to cry.
And I keep crying, every time I try to deal with this. I cried in the car on the way to go pick it up, as John rattled off the list of names of people who had responded to the e-mails, and I am crying again, writing this post.
But guys, I have to tell you this. You need to know. When John and Kevin told me this was happening, I was expecting people to throw in maybe $5 or $10 each, you know, and I was already beside myself with the generosity of that. Nobody had to do anything
, and I loved all of you for even wanting
to do something anyway. I felt like that was unbelievably nice of you.
But that is not what happened. That is so not even close to what you did.
As of today, with the last "promised" contribution, I think you just paid for my entire computer. There isn't even anything left for me to repay him monthly like we planned. I have to wait for John to confirm this with his bookkeeping, but my math says that's where it's at right now. And I know even more of you wanted
to contribute, and would have if the timing was better. I don't even know how to process that emotionally except with overwhelming gratitude and disbelief.You guys just fucking bought me a computer.
Thank you. I don't know what the hell else I can even say. Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you. You are the most insane, wonderful people I know. Thank you. I don't know how to repay you for this. I know that's not the point, but I feel like I have to do something
. I've hugged the people who are local, who I can actually reach with my own two arms, but some of you live across a whole ocean from me, and I can't hug you. But oh, I wish I could.
Thank you, thank you, thank you. A hundred thousand thank yous. Thank you.
(PS: The new computer is amazing. We picked it up last Friday, and I spent last weekend setting it up. I can't even tell you how fantastic it is. I'll be talking to somebody on Skype and suddenly start giggling, and when they ask me why, I tell them it's because I never used to be able to run other programs while I was downloading. Or that my sound used to go dead while I was burning episodes to DVD, which used to take an average of two hours for just a few episodes. Or that I'm playing City of Heroes and suddenly the whole game doesn't
grind to a halt as soon as I enter a crowded area. And that everything looks so pretty. And I have space for all my data. And there is no terrible grinding fan noise to keep me up at night. And on and on and on. THANK YOU.)